As you may or may not know, today I discovered a very bizarre lump on my kitty’s back…it worried me quite a bit. I tried to be laid back and casual about it….figuring perhaps she fell and got bumped pretty hard, but upon further research I found out that a lump similar to hers signifies a cat bite that has abscessed.

Immediately I was distraught. I called the emergency animal clinic and they informed me that she should be seen as soon as possible and it could cost up to $300 dollars to get her the medical attention she needed.

I freaked out, and without thought posted to my Twitter (LAME I KNOW) “i think my cat has an abscess from a cat bite on her butt…this can be fatal and will probably cost $300 to get fixed”

From posting this I was hoping to get support and words of wisdom and advice from my friends….sympathy, well wishes, good vibes, prayers, what have you.

Lo and behold the first message I get is from a girl I hardly know, but thought was supportive of me that said “That’s a good reason to keep a cat indoors”.

Hmm…Like I haven’t tried that.

Let’s backtrack a little, shall we?

I’ve been raised in a house of animals. That is, animals are family members to us and never though of as anything less. Upon leaving home and entering college, I found that something was missing from my lifestyle: animal companionship. While I’ve never raised a cat on my own and am much more familar with raising dogs, all of my peers informed me that raising a cat was a breeze and should be nothing to worry about.

It was then that I decided to adopt a kitten.

I met a litter of kittens 2 springs ago and immediately fell in love with a teeny weeny tortishell kitty. I had my heart set on her. She only cost me $25 which is nothing for a new family member! Eventually I moved into an apartment by myself and Krindi and I had a bachelorette pad.

Unfortunately that year turned out to be a very hard year for me…Many nights were spent alone lamenting about how miserable I was, and who was there to console me? My best friend Krindi (who, by the way, was named after a random line in Arrested Development). Let me tell you, this girl knows how to cuddle; she will be the big spoon, she will be the little spoon, she will sit atop your chest, she will lie next to you and pet your face. Never have I felt soooo….what is the word..companioned?? She just got me through the hard times.

A year later I moved into a house with two of my good friends. As we all know, cats aren’t the most versatile movers. Within the first few days of my move in, Krindi peed on two of the couches.

We had always been so close! I felt betrayed, confused, upset, sad, embarrassed…she had never done anything like this before (except when I got a new kitten, Kala, let out by an old roommate and ran away while I was out of town, whom I miss so much every day, Krindi peed my bed once).

But it didn’t stop there. Krindi didn’t like my new house at all apparently. I took her to the vet a multitude of times. Fed her different foods, got her different litter, sprayed various deterrant sprays, cleaned with various cleansers, consulted friends, but it only escalated. It got to the point where Krindi began peeing on one of the couches, in the exact same spot at least every other day.

Then she started peeing in other places: my closet, in front of my face if I didn’t feed her exactly when she wanted (which was typically 6 a.m. or earlier), in my laundry hamper, in the pantry!

Recently, I found that she had peed AND pooped in my pantry.

I cleaned everything with bleach. I cleaned every surface she had ever peed on with a very expensive cat urine cleaner. I woke up the next day and there was pee all over her favorite pee couch and giant pee and poop in the pantry.

For months people had been telling me to give her away. The idea of this was, and is still, proposterous. This is my baby. The thought of even putting her outside and the dangers she may face there put me in tears.


But

I had to do it. This wasn’t just my house, I share it with 2 others. The couch she was peeing on, it wasn’t mine!

So I calmly put her outside with a bowl of food and water and told her to stay.


If you think this was easy for me, you’re a fool. The first day she was out, I came home from school, NOT greeted by my best companion, and I had to sit down and cry for a good hour. She didn’t even come home that night; I couldn’t sleep. Lots of my friends give me flak for making her stay outdoors, but if only everyone knew how much it breaks my heart. (Tonight the vet confirmed that I did the right thing by putting her outdoors rather than A. letting her stay inside, pee on everything and build up resentment or B. taking her to a shelter where she would ultimately be euthanized)

I had to cope though, as her being outdoors is what seemed to be best for everyone.

I left out tons of food (feeding all the other neighborhood cats, gladly), water, and treats, hoping for the best but constantly worrying about the worst.I let her in and fed her even more whenever she would come vist. I brushed out all of her burrs and put her in my lap while I watched TV or worked on papers.

When I noticed the bump on her back today I was immediately frenzied, just as any mother would be, and sought immediate attention. I took her to the ER as soon as I possibly could; in fact, I left work 2 hours early to do so!

Still I was criticized for my actions, told I was a BAD PET MOTHER, which to me is beyond the worst insult (I would rather be called profanities).

I’m also bringing a new puppy into my home soon, and due to that the aforementioned person assumed I was getting a new, cute puppy to replace to cat (in addition to calling me a bad pet mother and for some reason insulting my intelligence).Please, like my cat isn’t the cutest cat…ever.

Honestly, I’ve never been more insulted in my entire life. I was born loving animals, not just cute ones but every sort. My first memory is my mom bringing a mangy mutt (who was on doggy death row) home, who was so dirty my 3 year old mind thought she was a dalmatian puppy (actually a maltese) but I still thought she was the best thing I’d ever seen. I’ve never bought from a breeder, nor have I given away pets because they were ‘inconvenient’. I’ve had lots of dogs, two cats, and a multitude of hamsters in addition to all of the various strays I’ve cared for, and all of the money and supplies I’ve donated to the SPCA and Humane Society. As time goes on it is more and more evident to me that my true happiness lies in seeing that animals get the care, attention, and affection that they deserve.

So please, respect me, my knowledge, and my animal care-taking abilities and BUTT OUT. If you care about animals that much, make sure that your own are happy, donate to animal charities and get off your GD high horse! (side note: I’m so fed up with people who think girls who enjoy maintaining themselves are completely shallow, materialistic and care for no one or animal beyong themselves.)


I don’t have pets because I think they are cool, cute or trendy. I have pets because they are living creatures and I want to provide for them and give them what they deserve, which to me, is everything I have.

PS

Other insults received from aforementioned girl:

“I’m staying tuned for when both your cat and dog end up “lost”/in a shelter”

“Kicking a cat outdoors and then adopting A CUTE DOGGIE = not a great pet mom, but, okay, I see we can not handle honesty.”

(upon me responding adversely) “Fine, you’re awesome, I have no opinions. Let’s talk about doing our nails — better?”

“Look, I’m sorry if the things I said upset you, but I’m guessing they only upset you because they hit home”

Mind you, I’m enduring all of this random bashing while rushing my cat to the ER.

I hope all of you have more respect for your friends and fellow animal lovers.

And just so you know, Krindi is safe and sound, indoors, while I care for her and help her get better!

Your support and advice is appreciated!

Goodnight.

A Taste of The Toast from Michael on Vimeo.

Check out this video of my friends Nick, Drew, and Mike in a short film made by their friend Michael. Makes me proud!

Why is it that the more you work, the less your friends want to hang out?

American Apparel has taken hostage of my life.

I have virtually no zits
My hair is actually growing
I feel skinny
I have like 2 classes and an internship (which I am doing with my aunt) left til I graduate
SXSW in one week

but...oh my god what am I going to do with my life once I'm done with school?



and now for some pictures of my kitty:





(this next one is so so good to me so I made it really big)



K see ya.

http://www.nbc.com/30_Rock/video/episodes/?vid=1053181

she plays the pregnant teen

(she is 26, LOLZ)

Typical male behavior has really been getting under my skin lately. Now, I don't mean to speak for EVERY guy, I know there are tons of fabulous, sensitive, thoughtful and caring dudes out there.

It's just that male conduct that I've observed recently has been as followed:
1. Meet nice girl
2. Pursue nice girl
3. Make nice girl fall for you
4. Give her all kinds of attention and affection
(Repeat step 4 for a few months)
5. Slowly start repealing aforementioned attention and affection
6. Begin to make nice girl feel like a totally insane bitch when she mentions that she misses aforementioned attention and affection
7. Demand space and act like a total immature ass when nice girl just wants to work on things and talk it out
(Repeat step 6 for a few more weeks)
8. Dump nice girl OR distance yourself/make yourself so impossible that she is forced to dump you
9. Let girl live in confusion for a few weeks to a few months wondering where she went wrong
10. Let girl move on and create her own new life
11. Make contact with girl claiming you want a friendship
12. Drop the bomb on her that you completely fucked everything up and are so totally in love with her, always have been and can't possibly live without her

Now, step 13 can be a few things:
Either: act like a complete insane asshole when the girl has decided to completely move on , forget you, and date others.
Or: Repeat steps 2-8
OR: Actually learn your fucking lesson and treat the girl you claim you cannot live with out like the princess she truly is.

I HATE DUDES IN THEIR 20'S!
GIRL POWER Y'ALL!

i would be nothing less than disappointed if it didn't turn out exactly like this


Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

who would have thought, my best friend is a cat






LOL @ WERK

i work so much but it is fun
i'm so tired that it makes me a little loopy, tomorrow is my day off, i'm gonna drink a bottle of clos du bois merlot although i wish it were la crema FUCK DA ECONOMY









yall excited for the holidays??

can I HAVE LONG HAIR ALREADY??










I have pretty much given up on "trying" to grow my hair out cos I realized that it is pretty retarded to spend $75 a month on vitamins that pretty much don't do shit. i still take sea kelp capsule but mostly cos they have really regulated my retardedly slow metabolism in addition to "kick starting" some hair growth.

I feel like the not trying/being patient/taking generic good care of your hair method is by far the most effective thus far, but sometimes i see pictures of people with super long hair and I flip my shit.

being patient sucks.
going insane last year and cutting off all my hair fucking sucks.

Usually I don't really "FEEL" the seasons/holidays or get in any sort of festive mood. I did, of course, as a child but that ended sometime in high school.

I don't know what it is about this year but I'm "feeling" autumn so hard. All I want to do is drink black and tans or pumpkin spice lattes, watch the harry potter movies, carve pumpkins, listen to eisley, eat pumpkin pie, be in New York, plan halloween costumes (so far I have ideas of being a private school student, a magician and/or a tap dancer), nest in bed with a million blankets and eat assorted meats.

Making some sort of whiskey apple cider sounds amazing too.

I'M LOVING FALL

the strangest thing has happened to me, and it must have just happened over night. i've never really felt like this before but it turns out that i actually don't give a FUCK anymore.



CHEERS to that!

Although I don't remember too much from my childhood, which I like to attribute to pure stupidity, I distinctly remember the day that we adopted Micki. My mom and I had just gone to PetsMart to pick up some food for our other dog, Angel. Of course, my 8 year old self wandered over to the adopt-a-puppy section where I spotted puppy Micki. She was in a huge litter of black lab/border collie puppies, but as soon as I walked up to the crate, she walked towards me. I didn't expect it, but I told my mom we should take her home, and she immediately said yes. The first night she was at home, she sat on the back porch and howled. I remember being really scared that my mom would be annoyed by her whining and change her mind about letting her stay, so I sat outside with her all night holding her like a little baby.

Micki was a happy, energetic, good dog who I never remember having any disciplinary problems. I taught her to hug like a human, to shake hands, and to catch treats in her mouth. She was always needy for attention and a good guard dog. She mostly liked to be pet and to lay in a particular spot in the yard that got a lot of sun. She always had panic attacks whenever there were thunderstorms.

This weekend my mom and I were supposed to go to New Mexico to visit my aunt and to see the balloon festival. On Wednesday my mom called me and told me she was feeling a bit under the weather and didn't want to go. I wanted to see her, so I decided to spend the weekend at her house.

I got into Fort Worth and my mom and I ran a bunch of errands and just had a typical mommy and me day. Finally, we got to the house at five and I finally got to greet the dogs (we have another 4 year old long haired chihuahua, Rosie). Usually when I come home, both of the dogs excitedly greet me, but today was different.

I found Micki stuck under a chair in my room, not moving. Although she was conscious, the way she was breathing really threw me off and I called my mom in to come see her. At first my mom said she was just old and excited to see me, she just didn't have the energy to get up and greet me like she used to.

I sat with her for a while and noticed she seemed to be unable to support her own weight and her breathing became labored. She tried to get up, but had no use of her legs and started howling. It was evident to me she had a serious stroke. My mom comes in and begins to look concerned. My mom is a nurse, and when she becomes concerned about someone's health situation, it is serious.

We try to rouse her by yelling her name, clapping, trying to lift her onto her feet, putting her favorite foods in front of her face but she is totally unresponsive; all she can do is lay there and whine. My mom tells me to grab a quilt and we wrap her up burrito-style in it. She is just limp and doesn't rebel. My tiny mom and I have to carry our 100 lb dog between the two of us to the car. We both start bawling at this point, trying to assure ourselves, one another and the dog that it would be okay. I looked down at Micki and her face looked so blank, calm and innocent. She looked just like her puppy self again.

As soon as we get her in the car, she tries to start moving and begins yelping very loudly. Then it becomes very apparent that she has defecated all over herself, the blanket, and the backseat. She then slumps over and begins to breath shallowly. I keep looking back at her to check that she is breathing, and I notice her gums and tongue have turned totally gray. We had brought Rosie with us, and she is looking back at her doggy sister from my lap in the front seat with very concerned eyes, whining.

Finally we get to the vet and my mom tells me to wait in the car with the dogs while she goes to get help. After my mom goes inside, Micki realizes where we are, starts to freak out and tries to move. With a lot of effort, she kicks the blanket off of herself, causing the smell of her defecate to spread through the entire car and I have to get out before I lose it. I make sure she is okay, watching her through the window, and realize she isn't covered with feces, just a bunch of black liquid and blood.

Two nurses come out and put her on a doggy stretcher, and my mom notices she is bleeding. They take her into the emergency room, which you can see from the lobby through a big window. My mom watches through the window the whole time, crying, but I can hardly stand to watch.

Nurses periodically come out and ask her if she had been exposed to rat poison, clorox, any sort of toxins. She hadn't. At this point I get up the guts to come over and watch with my mom. My dog looks so calm, passive and weak on the operating table. The vet tech looks concerned and keeps petting her and checking that she is conscious. I can see the doctor is frequently checking her lungs and heart. They try to take blood, but they can't get any. They hook her up to an IV and the doctor comes to update us. They can't stabilize her, he says. They run blood tests. Her red blood cell count is unsalvageable. She is bleeding out rapidly.

My mom, Rosie and I go back to the operating table to be with her. Micki is looking up at us with a look of fear, but mostly of serenity. The doctor says, "I'm sorry there was nothing else I could do." He kindly mumbles all of the injections he is about to give her to put her out of her misery. My mom buries her head in Micki's neck and is bawling. I'm holding Rosie and shaking my head in disbelief.

The doctor puts her into a calm sleep, and my mom and I tell her we love her, what a good dog she has been.

The doctor gives her a huge shot of something pink and her breathing eventually slows to a stop. She doesn't close her eyes. My mom tries to close her eyes and the doctor says, "They don't close their eyes".

We discuss arrangements for the body (we decide on cremation), say our thanks yous and goodbyes. I take one last look at Micki, and I think to myself, "I've never seen a dead body before."

We got home at 5, we took her to the vet at 5:20, she died at
6:03

What if we had gone to New Mexico?
What if we had gotten home from our errands any later?
What if I hadn't have even come home that weekend at all?

Micki was born in October, we adopted her from a PetsMart.
Micki died in October, we put her down at a PetsMart.

She was a family member to us for 15 years.

being in the dfw metroplex makes me want to rip my skin off without anesthetics. so many people here are full of shit liars.

my life consists of getting drunk by myself in the confines of my room watching heroes and the sex and the city movie on repeat and crying.

i cannot wait to move.

delete block forget ignore
i don't want to, but i have to

at this point i'm proud of myself for handling rejection more times than i can count on one hand.

this is the end
i don't want it to be, but it has to be

Yesterday was amazing and horrible at the same time. My dad flipped his shit when I bought 2 new tires without asking him. In my defense, I just TOLD him I was going to buy them...I needed them, otherwise my 2 old tires would either go flat or have a blowout on the highway. He flips out talking about how sick he is of all the "drama I create for myself" and having to support my "lifestyle" while I'm in college.

I payed for $3,500 of the car in addition to making 6 of the $300 monthly payments (in addition to 6 $180 insurance payments), buying new tires, replacing the cracked oil pan, having other various things repaired (basically I put an additional $2,000 into this car). Finally, I had to quit my bartending job as the stress was making my physically ill and the sexual harassment 24/7 was driving me insane. My dad OFFERED to help me pay for the car. OFFERED. This is what he means when he says he no longer wants to support "my lifestyle"

Long story short, since my dad was the co-signer for my car he feels entitled to the ability to SELL IT. Yep, my dad is selling my precious car YET AGAIN (he sold my first car against my will when I graduated from high school).

He's really teaching me, a 22 year old woman, a lesson this time. Good thinking, Dad!

Anyway, last night Mia, Lindsey, Nina and I went to see the screening of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist which was really really cute. Afterward Michael Cera and Kat Dennings were there for a Q&A so obviously I was dying. Of course Michael got asked a million retarded and embarrassing questions which made me feel embarrassed for Denton/Dallas and it was so awkward. I ended up asking him a question, but was so nervous that I literally almost puked on myself as I had never though I would ever meet him CRAZY.

At midnight Mia turned 21, thus we celebrated our No More Lies Tour kick off party into the wee small hours of the night. Too much fun.

Fort Worth tonight, Austin tomorrow until Sunday.

thank you stephanie
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